My name is Pah Htoo and I was born in Cha Cher Ki (Myanmar) and moved to Mae La Camp. My parents were farmers and had no education. I have never seen schools or gone to school, because my parents told me to take care of my siblings and work as a farmer. While taking care of my siblings, I did not get the chance to play with other kids. The closest friends I had were my cousins.When I was little I wished that I could have gone to school. I wanted to learn how to read and write. I think that girls who are smart are good, because it will be an easier and better path for them.

I have three siblings and I am the oldest. My mom was the one who taught me how to cook at age five years old. The foods we made at home were spicy fish paste sauce and rice. Christmas and birthdays were never been celebrated, because no one in the house did it. Karen New Year was the only time when I got to celebrate as I got older. The people I grew up with did the same job as me, such as taking care of their brothers and sisters. They worked as farmers just liked I did. I had never seen grocery stores, because they did not have one at my community in Cha Cher Ki. I had never been to a big city. I lived only in the jungle where the place was filled with mountains, trees, and rice fields. My whole family’s religion is Christian.

There was one story I heard from my grandpa. The story was about a husband who carried a basket on his back and sold stuff, and his wife had to take care of the children. The husband went to Thailand to work and there was a Thai guy who asked him, “How are you handling things, providing for your kids and wife, can you do it? The wife asked, “While you were in Thailand, did you see anything beautiful or lots of food? You ate good food over there?” The wife told him that she wanted to go to Thailand and now it was his turn to take care of the kids. The husband did not stop her, because he knew he could not do anything about it. The wife went to Thailand and wanted to experience the same thing as her husband did. The same Thai guy asked, “Karen girl, why are you coming all the way here to work. Your husband didn’t provide enough things for you?” The Thai guy told her to kill her husband and come back and he would take care of her. She did exactly what the Thai guy asked her to do and she killed her husband at night time by pretending that she was looking to find lice in his head. She went back where the Thai guy was and in the end he rejected her, because he told her why would you kill your own kind of people and I’m scared to stay with you.

I met my husband at age twenty one and he worked in the army. I did not date him but he would come visit me at my house often. I would bring out food to him and we ate together. We knew each other for two years before getting married. Before marrying him, he went to my parents to ask for permission if he could marry me. My parents liked him and said yes. The marriage got my parents’ approval.

I have five kids and there were a lot of struggles while raising the kids. The hardest thing I struggled with was taking care of my kids on my own, when the Burmese soldier captured my husband for one year and six months and took him to the city. I was the only one that had to take care of our children. He got killed in Mae La Ooh and passed away five years ago now. My happiness is my kids.  I taught my children to respect their elders and parents. If children didn’t listen and were being bad, parents would spank their kids.